Monday 5 November 2012

Let him be..!

Let him be
the king of this game,
let yourself
be away from this fame.
Let him rule your world
as per his desire,
let yourself burn
in this love,
in this fire.!
let him be free,
let him be he,
let him be whatever
he wants to be.
let him be far from you,
let him be close,
let him decide
to make you win? or
to make him lose..! :)
- D!sha Joshi.

Thursday 11 October 2012

Give of yourself and you shall receive..! ♥ :)

              Niyati was crying on her bed in her room thinking, why after falling so deep in love she had to go through this? Why is it Nandan himself who cannot understand me? What’s the use? Thinking this, she was sobbing quietly.
             
         But this kind of problem that most of us seem to come across, may it be in work, in worship, or in daily life. We believe we are giving it our 100% yet we are hopeless. But are we really correct? How do we know that what we have given is our 100%? I went into Niyati’s room and saw her sobbing and asked her what had happened? She told me the whole story, I said to her now listen:
                 
            Often it happens that we daily do prayers and do have full faith in lord but, at the same time we are doubtful whether do we really have full faith in lord? We are fond of telling others that we do so much such as, chant so many mantras so many times. Boasting ourselves is one joy we like. Because man has innate hunger for praises. He likes to be seen by others and complimented even on his worship. Then there comes a time when the same disciple is less focused on his worship and more on these praises. He starts pretending by the praises of the people that he is perfect and that his worship is 100%. But this is where we are mistaking. Your worship is not one or more persons accepting it, instead you accepting it. Just do it from your heart and is there a need to boast? We rather give our boasting time to our worship, then, we will have really given our 100%. This is when we shall be blessed for our worships.

                   The case is same with any job that we do. We often think that I studied with interest, and done my duty with hard work then, why do I still get a negative result? Well, the same problem.  The problem may be that we were so busy paying attention to our praises and when our ears are filled with words of our praises we often start believing that we are an expert at our job. This is when we fall from the category of superiority because our persistence to actually be 100% is limited. The solution to this usual problem is that we shall only speak that which is useful to others and immune ourselves to any praises.
                
               Niyati’s case was a similar too. Whatever the job may be, may it be professional success, education, worship or even love. Strange enough, but even in a blissful feeling like love the issue of ego still persists. Niyati and Nandan were both deeply in love with one another. But she should have rather experienced love herself than telling all about it to people around her. I told Niyati to learn from her Nandan. He would keep his happiness limited to himself. But Niyati, just out of joy liked to share with everyone else. Yes there is nothing wrong with sharing happiness, but when we hear from others praises like “wow you both are perfect for each other, so cute..! God bless you” that is when we start to walk off the ground. This is when we are less focused on loving the beloved and reduce to the expectations of the people.
                         
                     In essence, praises are actually not needed at anything. I.e. by people accepting your love for the beloved the love is not rectified, by people accepting your worship, the lord doesn’t approve of it, and by people accepting your efforts you do not pass an examination.
                 
                   Love is a mere feeling between the two. We can only receive true love from someone when we surrender 100%, in another words, give our mind, body and soul to the beloved without a return expectation. Lord Krishna says “to attain the other completely you first have to surrender yourself to that person.”Similarly, unless you engage in a job honestly you cannot expertise or succeed at it.
             
               Niyati looked at me as if she understood her weakness and drew two more tears from her eyes. She said she now understands where her love lacked. I consoled “your love was no less, but your attitude lacked.”I said you now need to love your Nandan in the same way you want him to love you. Because I know you are crazy for him and he just needs to see this. She smiled at me and said I will change my mistakes.  I was happy seeing her happy.
(C) D!sha joshi.

Wednesday 3 October 2012

तेरी हसी

जिंदगी सी खनखनाती है तेरी हसी,
तारो सी टिमटिमाती है तेरी हसी,
इस जिस्म में जान लाती है तेरी हसी,
मेरे गुस्से को पिघलाती है तेरी हसी,
रात को दिन बनाती है  तेरी हसी,
मेरे रूठने पे बेहेलाती है तेरी हसी,
जब जब तुझको हस्त पाया,
तेरी आँखों ने प्यार बरसाया,
ये जादू से भी परे है,
ये है कोई माया,
तेरी हसी के लिए कुछ भी कर जाऊं,
जिंदगी भी कम है गर कुछ कर पाऊं,
तेरे लिए भले कुछ न हो,
मेरे लिए सबकुछ है तेरी हसी.
- (C) D!sha Joshi

Saturday 29 September 2012

खामोश निगाहें,
सपनो की आहटें ज़रा,
ख्वाहिशें हज़ारो,
हौसला कम ज़रा,
पिघलते ये लम्हों
की भीड़ में मैं,
पिघलेसे दिल के साथ
गुमसुम ज़रा,
धीरे से हौले से
दिलने कहा,
ये बेजुबान खामोशीको
सुनतो ज़रा,
तन्हाई के गाने को
यूँ गुनगुना,
चांदनी की गहेरी सी
इस नदी में आज,
दो पंख फेलाए तू
उडजा ज़रा,
साँसों से साँसों की
लहेरो को जोड़,
सिसकियाँ भरना तू
भूलजा ज़रा,
दबी सी सेहेमी सी
वो हसी को तू बोल,
आ होठों पे आके
अब खुलजा ज़रा,
पिघलते ये लम्हों की
भीड़ में तू भी,
आ लम्हों के साथ
पिघलजा ज़रा.
(C) D!sha Joshi.

Friday 17 August 2012

I found No Difference..!

God, Jesus, Allah and
My Beloved's Name,
I Found No Difference..
For Me They Are The Same..!

When Trying to Imagine
The God In Any Case,
I End Up My Imagination 
Drawing My Beloved's Face.

How Can My Beloved 
Be Different Than God?
In The Need Of God
I Found My Beloved On The Spot.

I Love As I Pray,
I Pray As I Love,
I Found The Blessings Of God
As My Beloved's Love..!

God, Jesus, Allah and
My Beloved's Name,
I Found No Difference..
For Me They Are The Same..!

(C) D!sha Joshi.





Wednesday 1 August 2012

वो

वो

बहेता है रगों में
साँसे जैसा
वक़्त जैसा
खुदा जैसा
दीखता नहीं
पर महेसुस होता है.

जिंदगी जैसा,
ख़ुशी जैसा,
सच्चाई जैसा,
गेहेराई सा वो,
कहेता नहीं कुछ,
एहेसास होता रहेता है.

लब्ज़ जैसा,
अलफ़ाज़ भी वो,
कहानी जैसा,
कविता जैसा,
वो वो वो.
कोन है वो?
जो हरपाल मुझमे रहेता है?

मदहोशी जैसा,
बंदगी जैसा,
दीवानगी जैसा,
ना जानू मैं
दूर है के पास?
रूह को छूता रहेता है.

वो है,
मैं हूँ,
मोहोब्बत भी.
और क्या चाहिए?
फक्र है वो
मुझमे छुपा छुपा सा रहेता है.

(C) Disha Joshi.

Sunday 29 July 2012

इंतज़ार

सुहाना ये मौसम
पर खामोशी उसकी,
घने से बादल
न बरस पाने की
बेबसी उनकी,
सूखे ये पत्ते
प्यासी सी ज़मीं,
रास्ते है चुप
गलियों की रौशनी भी गूम,
दिन भी खामोश है
रात भी सन्नाटो सी,
उन्हीका इंतज़ार है
दुरी है जिनकी,
आसमान में चाँद भी
उनको ही ढूंढ़ रहा है,
बहेती ये नदी भी जैसे
गयी हो थम,
छत पे है हम
साथ यादें है उनकी,
के आजाओ अब
और कितना इंतज़ार?
वक़्त गुज़र रहा है,
जिंदगी भी चल रही है,
सबकुछ है साथ -
साथ कमी भी उनकी...!

(C) D!sha Joshi.

Friday 27 July 2012

When I found YOU.

Life is like hell but in this hell called "life" 
I found "my heaven" when I found YOU..!!
YOU are my need, my dream - 
above all my wishlist I count YOU.
I used to search myself everywhere,
after finding you i found my world around YOU.
Take me along with you wherever you want 
there is nothing bound YOU.
because I found "my heaven" 
when I found YOU. ♥

(C) D!sha Joshi.

त्वदियम वस्तु गोविन्द तुभ्यमेव समप्यँते.

You love freedom. Right?
I know how important it is to you.
You gave me what you have,
I gave you what i receive.
I didn't have anything else to give you,
whatever i am giving you
is what you gave me.
So don't thank me for loving you so much,
as i have received a lot from you.
Thank yourself for everything we have My Love. ♥
(C) D!sha Joshi.

Ghazal.

जिंदगी मिली है हमको वो तेरे नाम हो जाए,
तेरा साथ मिले मुझको तो मेरा काम हो जाए.

सफ़र-इ-मोहोब्बत को इतना गहेरा बनाएँगे,
शुरुआत है तू- तू ही आखरी मुकाम हो जाए.

छुप छुप के बहोत मिल लिया हमने अब तक,
चलो थोड़ी मोहोब्बत अब सरे आम हो जाए.

कोई तोड़ न सके एसा रिश्ता जोड़ना है आपसे,
खुदा भी गर करे कोशिश तो नाकाम हो जाए.

मोहोब्बत है गुनाह तो करने दे बार बार,
भले तेरे नाम से दिशा बदनाम हो जाए.
-Disha Joshi

કબાટ ( Wardrobe )

   કેટલા દિવસ પછી આજે સમય મળ્યો, તો આજે થયું લાવ કબાટ સાફ કરી લઉં, કેટલા મહિનાઓની ધૂળ જમા થઇ હતી.નવા જુના બધા કપડા અને બધો સામાન કાઢ્યો, આખો કબાટ ખાલી કર્યો છેલ્લે પાછળ થી એક પોટલું નીકળ્યું,જોતા જ્ બીજુ બધું બાજુ પર મુક્યું ને બસ એ પોટલા ની ખાન ખોળમાં બીઝી થઇ ગયી..

                              મારો ગલ્લો નીકળ્યો, ખખડાવી ને જોયો હજી એ જ નાનપણ માં ભેગા કરેલું ચિલ્લર એમાં હતું. નાની હતી ત્યારે painting નો શોખ, બધા કાર્ડ્સ બનાવેલા મળ્યા, મારું બાળપણ જાણે મારી સામે આવી ને ઉભું હતું..!! પેલું પિંક frock મારું સૌથી favorite, બધા certificates મોસ્ટ ઓફ બધા જ singing competition ના જ હતા, એક પણ માં 3rd rank નોહોતો, 1st કાંતો 2nd જ..!

                        દિલ માં ધ્રાસકો પડ્યો આ તે વળી કેવો અહેસાસ? એક સાથે ખુશી અને ગમની ભાવના..!! ખુશી એ વાતની હતી કે આજ સુધી બધું જ સાંચવી ને મૂકી રાખેલું હતું ને દુખ એ વાત નું કે આની સાથે મારા સપના, સપના તો ના કેહેવાય અધૂરા સપના જોડાએલા હતા. બધું તાજું થઇ ગયું..!! એ મારી music માટે ની ધગશ અને પપ્પા ને ખુશ રાખવા માટે ની ભાવના બેવ માંથી પપ્પાની ખુશીની જીત અને એમના આદેશ અનુસાર મારું  music - singing ને  છોડી દેવું ...

                  આમ જુવો તો હસું આવે છે મને મારા પર, સમય જતા માણસ બધું શીખી જાય છે, બધું પાછળ મૂકી ને આગળ વધી જાય છે, સપના, નિર્ણયો, અને કદાચ લોકો ને પણ..!! એ યાદો ના પોટલા સાથે કે એના વગર રેહેતા ટેવાઈ જઈએ છીએ.. અને સમયે સમયે આમ યાદો નું પોટલું ખુલી જાય છે ને આપણને અહેસાસ થાય છે કે આપણે આ ઝીંદગી માં કેટલા આગળ વધી ગયા, સમજીએ છીએ કે લોકો ને મૂરખા બનાવ્યા પણ કોણ જાણે આપણે પોતાને જ મૂરખા બનાવતા ફરીએ છીએ , અને આમ જયારે એ યાદો આપણી સામે આવે છે ત્યારે હસી દઈએ છીએ..! કહ્યું ને બધું શીખી જઈએ છીએ, એક હાસ્યથી દુખ, દર્દને છુપાવતા પણ શીખી જઈએ છીએ..!!

                           બધું બંધ કર્યું, કબાટની સાવ અંદર આ પોટલું મુક્યું, ભૂલેચૂકે જયારે ફરી એ પોટલું હાથ લાગશે, ને ફરી આ જ કિસ્સો દોહોરાશે, એ જ યાદો, એક આઘાત, થોડી ખુશી ને એ જ હાસ્ય... ગમે તેમ તો રહી માણસ ની જાત ને?  પોતે કરેલા વાયદાઓ, નિર્ણયો ને ભૂલવું તો એના ડાબા હાથ ની વાત છે, આમ જ પોતાની જાત થી ભાગશે, કોઈ વાર પોતાના નિર્ણયોને અધૂરા મુકાશે તો કોઈ વાર બીજાના, એને લાગે છે કે બધાને મૂરખા બનાવી શકાશે પણ ક્યાં સુધી? પોતાની જાતને એ લાંબો સમય મુરખો ના જ બનાવી શકે..!! આટલું બધું જાણું છું છતાં કઈ જ ના કરી શકવા પર હસી લીધું..બધું બરોબર સંકેલી ને પાછો કબાટ જેમ હતો એમ ગોઠવી દીધો.. બાહ્ય દેખાવ સરસ બનાવી દીધો અને બસ ભૂલવાનું નાટક ચાલુ કે અંદર કઈ જ છુપાવેલ નથી.

D!sha joshi.. :)

Surender..! :D

When you laugh
I feel my soul laughing inside,
When you cry,
I feel my life has lost its meaning.

You have become
The oxygen for my body,
The peace for my soul,
The sight of my eyes,
The life of my life...

So I am surrendering myself to you,
I am surrendering everything to you..

As you surrender everything
To the beloved,
You become a free bird..
Now there is no weigh on me,
I can fly
High to the sky.. ♥ :D

- D!sha Joshi.

Tuesday 24 July 2012

Thoughts...!

Just like you can't escape the happiness you can't escape the pain..! you have to go through it, so why not go through it happily..? :D


there is nothing like practicality in love, there is only love...
there is nothing like compromise in love, there is only love..
there is nothing at all that matters in love but love and only love..!! ♥


Rather to be a beautiful girl, I would like to be a Beautiful Lover..! :D

Rather to be in a Relationship, I would like to be in Love..♥ :D


The definition of my happiness starts from YOU and ends with YOU. ♥


Commitments can be broken,
when made on papers or by words,
But Ours is the Commitment from Heart to Heart
It cannot be Broken until the heart burns..♥ :D


There is no age, no boundaries
No state, no countries
Lovers has only one world
Lover’s world
Where the world run by no rule
No condition but Love !

Love is something that has to be Lived,
and Life is something that has to be Loved..! :)

The safest place on Earth for me is your arms.. ♥ :D

YOU are my Favorite subject..! :P ♥

I want to drink your love like Wine
You are my love, and my Sunshine
Don't do anything to make me smile
Just love me the way you do
and the world is Mine. :D

अगर तू छोटा बच्चा बने तो,
तेरे लिए खिलौना बन जाऊं.
तेरी चाहत भले न बन सकूं,
दिलमें छुपाले एक कोना बन जाऊं.
हसता रहे तू यही ख्वाहिश है मेरी
तुझे हसाने के लिए क्या करू ?
तू कहे तो में एक बौना बन जाऊं ?

એના વગર તારું શું? એના વગર તારું શું?
એના વગર 'મારું' શું? અરે? એના વગર હું જ ક્યાં છું? ♥ :D

वो शेहेर तुम्हारे लिए सिर्फ एक शेहेर है,
मेरे लिए उसकी मौजूदगी ठहर ठहर है..  13-05-2012.

Love Blindly or Don't Love...! ♥ :)

 (C) D!sha Joshi.

Monday 16 July 2012

Dream.

Sometimes
I get a chance to live you,
Sometimes
I get a chance to feel you.

You are that dream
which I desire to be true,
But not all our dreams
can be come true..

Oh beloved,
So what if you
cannot come true,
I will try my best
to be with you..!

Oh Dream,
I can't stop dreaming of you,
Like a beat and the heart,
How can We be apart?
You are me and I am you,
We are one
not each others part.

Now When I got a chance,
Let me dream you till the end,
Let me hold you in my hand,
Let me love you my love,
Let me do whatever I can.

After all the morning has to come,
And you have to go,
This is the only truth
about you I know.

Please do come back
in the night,
I swear
I wont fight,
I wont ask,
I will just do my task,
My task
To love you,
To dream you,
Trying to have you my love.

(C) D!sha joshi.
16th July, 2012.

Right now you are mine, my reality but morning has to come, and you will be the dream once again..! this is the only truth i know..
please come back to me in the night i wont ask you any questions, i will just do my task of loving you..! :D

Friday 8 June 2012

The Ultimate Destination.

Death is the ultimate destination of life..!
but for Me my love YOU...
You are the last destination of my life.

As a soul's ultimate destination is
To become one with God.
My ultimate destination is
To become one with you.

By becoming one with You,
I will have a life with You,
A life for You,
A life given by You. ♥

(C) D!sha Joshi.

Saturday 26 May 2012

Your City ♥


My Love..
I came to Your city,
Though we couldn’t meet
It was quite pity..!
But I found YOU 
In Every corner of Your city.

I could breath your smell
In the air of your city,
I caught your glance
In that person with a kitty.

With every  passing  mile
I found your face smile,
In the sound of that crowd
Your cute laugh I found.

The garden, the lake,
The church and every place,
In each and everything
I found your beautiful face.

Those shops, those streets,
Those roads, those towers,
I found you everywhere 
every second, every hour. 

The city was beautiful indeed,
But something has added
more beauty in it.

It was not only a city
Having roads, temples,
People and buildings..

It was the city having
Your presence,
Your memories,
And lots of things
Relating to YOU…
And finally I realized that
Meeting your city
was not less than
Meeting YOU. 

(C) D!sha Joshi. 

Sunday 6 May 2012

Love Blindly.

To love blindly
does not mean blind from eyes,
but blind from heart..

Be blind from heart,
Love your beloved
with whatever you have,
and believe me
you will be the happiest person
on the earth from the moment
you start to love your beloved blindly.

A Lover shouldn't be blind
but her love has to be blind
then and only then
one can feel
The purity of Love..
The Magic of Love.. ♥ :D

(C) D!sha Joshi.

Saturday 28 April 2012

Don't Worry.

To love you blindly
It is something
that comes natural
It is not in my hand,
My love..

Don't worry if
You can't love me back.
But let me love you
with whatever I have.

To love you,
To make you laugh..
These all have become
My Life
My Love...

But You..
You are a free bird,
You have all the freedom,
So don't afraid to be yourself.

Don't worry if
Someday by mistake
You give me pain,
It would be a gift for me.

I will keep it safely
in my heart.
I will be Satisfied because
It would be given by YOU..
It doesn't matter
whether happiness or pain,
I would have something
which belongs to YOU.
I will be Happy..

(C) D!sha Joshi.

Thursday 26 April 2012

The Aim Of My Life.

The aim of my life
is not to have You,
but To Love You...

I don't want to be Your Owner,
I want You to be My Owner.

My aim is to make You happy
with every breath I take.
My aim is to be with You
every decision You make.

My aim is to be Yours,
It doesn't matter whether
You are mine or not..
what matters to me is that
I am Yours..

That's what makes me alive,
That's what makes me free,
That's what makes me a lover..
That's what makes me YOUR LOVER.

(C) D!sha Joshi.

Wednesday 25 April 2012

The Name.

I write..but
I don't create poetry..
I write what my beloved makes me write.

In that case I am not a creator.
In my poetry there is nothing mine,
not even my name.

That is also given by my beloved.
If my beloved was not there,
for whom i would have written?
and if i wouldn't have written then
who would have known my name?

There is only my beloved For whom,
From whom I write...
I only write..

Everything else is what my beloved has given me..
The thoughts..
The words..
The creating power..
The imagination..
The poetry..
The name..

(C) D!sha Joshi. 

I Worship You.

There is no you, no me..
There is no yours, no mine..
There is only we and ours..!!

We are Equal,
We are Lovers...
We produce love from every phase of life.

We found love in happiness,
We found love in sadness..
We found love in quarrel,
We found love in jealousy,

We make love to that extent that
We become love itself.. 
We forget our ego..
We forget that we are different..

We start to look from each others eyes,
I want to be like you..
You want to be like me,
and thus We become One..

We become Love itself..
Now there is only soul in You and Me
That is the Lover's Soul...

We eat love, we drink love,
We breath love, we live love...
We can not see anything beyond the beloved..!


Love is beyond everything..
Love itself is God, God is love.
That's the only reason why lover
Worship their beloved..!
as I Worship YOU. 

 (C) D!sha joshi.

Sunday 15 April 2012

Ghazal.

वो तेरा मुझपे मुझसे भी ज्यादा असर होना,
वो मेरा तेरे नाम से दुनिया में अमर होना.

तुम्हे दूर जाते मेरा खुदको इस तरह खो देना ,
वो आँखों का पल भर में समंदर होना .

तू माने ना माने मेरे पास है तू हमेशा,
वो तेरी यादों का मेरे साथ उम्र भर होना.

कोई तो बात ज़रूर है तुझमे खुदा की कसम,
वो जिंदगी पाने का अहेसास तुम्हे पा कर होना.

इस सफ़र में अब मुझे कोई डर नहीं दिशा,
वो मंजिल भी तू - तेरा ही हमसफ़र होना.
(C) D!sha Joshi. :)

Wednesday 4 April 2012

કૈક ખૂટે છે

બધું જ તો બરોબર છે..
પણ કૈક ખૂટે છે
આમ મન કેમ ઉદાસ છે?
ભાવતું ભોજન પણ આજે ગળે નથી ઉતરતું,
વિચારો થી ઘેરાએલ, શાંતિ માં પણ અશાંત હૂં,
ફટાફટ કોળિયા ગળી ભણવા બેઠી,
જીવ નથી ચોંટતો,
mobile  લીધો ગીતો સાંભળ્યા
થોડું સારું લાગ્યું,
પણ અંદરો અંદર આ ગુંગણામણ શેની?
જાણે ઝીંદગી આગળ વધવા ના માંગતી હોય,
જાણે ચેહેરા પર નું હાસ્ય કમને આવતું હોય,
જાણે દિલ પણ ધબકવા ની ના પડતું હોય,
કવિતા લખતા આ pen  પણ આગળ વધવા નથી માંગતી,
mobile  માં photos  ખોલી ને બેઠી,
તારો photo આયો અને દિલ અચંબા માં મુકાઇ ગયું,
મારા ખોરાક જેવા તું અને તારી વાતો,
આજે તારી સાથે વાત જ ક્યાં થઇ હતી?
બધું જ બરોબર હતું પણ તારા વગર હૂં જ ક્યાં હતી?
હસી પડી હૂં ખુદ પર અને કહ્યું મેં પોતાને,
'કૈક' નહીં 'કોઈક' ખૂટે છે.
(C )   D!sha joshi
 

એકલતા

alarm ના અવાજ સાથે જ આંખો ખુલી,
પ્રકાશ પ્રકાશ ચારે તરફ,
પંખીઓ નો કલરવ, ધૂળ નો ધુમાડો,
સોનેરી કિરણો થી ભરેલું આકાશ,
ઠંડા પવન ની લેહેરખી
આવી ને કાન માં કૈક કહી ગયી ,
મારા પગલા નો અવાજ,
પસ્તી વાળા ની બૂમો,
એ શાક વાળી લારી ની ઘંટડી,
bread ને butter સાથે ગરમ ચા,
અગાશી માં પડેલી બે ખુરશીઓ,
વચ્ચે table પર પાના ઉડાડતી diary
dairy નો સાથ ના છોડતી પેલી pen ,
વેહેચવા માટે ખુલ્લું આકાશ,
ને દિલ ના ખૂણે પડીકું વાળી મૂકી રાખેલા વિચારો,
પણ સંભાળવા માટે કોઈ જ નહિ,

આઘાત લાગ્યો દિલ ને,
આ શાંતિ છે કે એકલતા?
માનન માં પ્રશ્નો ફેલાવતા..
ફરી પાછી પોતાની મૂર્ખાઈ પર હસી,
આ બધું તો રોજ નું થયું,
શાંતિ કહું કે એકલતા,
મારે તો આની સાથે જ રેહેવાનું થયું.

(C ) D!sha Joshi

Wednesday 29 February 2012

He made a Joke and Life took it seriously..!! :P

  We should respect time, because time is one thing which plays an important part in our life. I understand this today.

                       Me and Nandan have been together for last 2 years. He was as mad for me as I was for him. Whenever we met and parted ways after our meeting he would drop me to my home.  He would come on a different vehicle but he came. I often told him,

“Nandan, what’s the use; you are just wasting petrol and also wasting your time.”

He would look at me and say,

                                  “Niyati, you are strange; you know very well how selfish I am. I don’t come to drop you for your sake. It’s because I can see you until the last moment, and this way I can remind myself to talk to you about anything I may have forgotten. As you know, when we meet I am either too busy staring at you or at other chicks to annoy you. So what I had in mind to say to you is only remembered while driving. So please don’t think to yourself I am so caring. I come to drop you till home for my sake.”

Furthermore he would tease me by saying,

“This way, by coming to drop you till home, I assure myself that you haven’t gone to meet any other guy.”

Then, he would give me a hearty laugh.I would reply by showing a disappointing grin on my face and say in an angry tone,

“Nandan!!!”

                    When we used to meet we were so busy laughing hard and teasing each other that after leaving we would recall what we had planned to say to each other. One special evening also passed doing this drama. We both kidult were enjoying each others’ company not far from my home. Nandan came to drop me home as usual and with his usual intentions to pull my leg he said,

“Niyati, now I will not meet you for a week, I am tiered of meeting you, and I think we have been having too many meetings lately”.

I also replied back jokingly,

“I too have no intentions of meeting an idiot like you and I also have many more important things to do than seeing you.”

 We both gave each other a mischievous smile and hugged each other and said goodbye.

“Catch you tomorrow morning.” He said in my ear.

“Okay, you take care of yourself”.  I said, hugging him tightly.

                 Every time he dropped me at my home and drove away, he would turn back to look at me again and I looked at him too. Those moments of trying to have some more glimpses of each other when separating was so intimate I cannot begin to describe it. May be this is love. A whole day spent together seems so short and we still demand for more.

I had bought a shirt for him, but helpless to my habits I forgot to give it to him. I thought to myself; what’s the hurry, I will give him tomorrow.

                But who knew the joke we had made that night was going to come true.The next week brought circumstances such that Nandan could not come to meet me at all. A day, then two and three days passed. On the fourth day I was panicking. He got busy serving one of the elder members of his family who was in hospital for the time. I could of course not force him to meet me. This was when I actually understood the value of time.

                  What a pity on us!!! All the time in the world that we get to spend together seems too little when the time is flying. We want more. Yet, we don’t know if our world is going to be same the next day or different!! We take all things for granted, even people.

                  But if there is a time when that beloved can’t meet us, is when we feel how important it is to have told him what was held in heart. Because when I was with him tomorrow was always there, so I used to think “oh, what’s the rush?” but when the time before meet is stretched is when we realize the value of time.

                   From this experience I changed my perspective to not ever take anything or especially anyone for granted. Because when that thing or person is gone or is no more and their time has finished, is when we will indeed regret the most in our life.

                 In our case Nandan could not meet me for 9 whole days. then finally we met.. :) as soon as I saw him, I jumped onto him to hug him. I looked in his eyes and slapped him softly with my love. I gave him the shirt. His face lit up when he saw it in my hands for him. He immediately pulled out a dairy milk chocolate bar for me. My favorite and he knew it.

He came to my ear and whispered,

“I missed you a lot.”

I could not help but weep with joy. So I said to him,

“Me too”

Going back to his routine mood he said,

“Oh you too. Means you also missed yourself?”

With a smile on face and tears in my eyes I only said  with an angry tone,

“Nandan, I missed you baby”.

(C) D!sha Joshi. :)
 thanks a lot for editing - Pooja Mehta. :)This is my 1st trial, please forgive me if i have made any grammatical mistake.. :)

Friday 6 January 2012

You will find the title at the end of the note.!!

  છેલ્લા કેટલાક દિવસો થી જોવું છું બધા મને મળવા આવે છે, મારા માટે કૈક લાવે છે, ને આવી ને પણ બધા મને જ આટલું બધું attention  કેમ આપે છે? આટલો બધો બદલાવ કેમ આવા લાગ્યો બધા માં? મારો દીકરો જે કોઈ દિવસ મારી સામે જોતો પણ નથી  આજે મને પૂછે છે કે mummy  તું કેમ છે? તારે શું જોઈએ છે? હૂં તો મન માં ને મન માં એટલી મલકાવ કે આ બધા ને કોઈએ સારો પાઠ ભણાવ્યો લાગે છે.. :)

                             રાત ની થોડી ઊંઘ પછી આજે સવારે ઉઠી ને  જોયું તો મારી દીકરી મને મળવા આવીતી જેને આજ સુધી મને phone  પર પણ મારી તબિયત વિષે નોતું પૂછ્યું અચાનક મને મળવા આવી.. હૂં તો રહી  એક માં મેં એન પૂછ્યું દીકરા કેમ છે તું તને કોઈ તકલીફ તો નથી ને? અચાનક આમ કેમ આવાનું થયું ? તો એ મને વળગી ને રડવા લાગી મેં એને છાની રાખી ઉમર ના કારણે હૂં બવ હલી નોતી શક્તિ તો પણ થોડી સાંત્વના આપી..

                  છેલ્લા બે દિવસ થી ઘરમાં મારું મનપસંદ ખાવાનું બનવા લાગ્યું અને બધા મને આટલો પ્રેમ ક્યારથી કરવા લાગ્યા હૂં તો એટલી ખુશ થઇ ગયી ને પોતાની જાત ને કવ કે ચાલો સરસ જે પ્રેમ માટે હૂં આખી ઝીંદગી તરસતી રહી એ પ્રેમ તો ના મળ્યો પણ એના થોડા દર્શન તો થયા..!! બધા ના  ચેહેરા પર મારા માટે પ્રેમ, કોઈ ની આંખ માં મારા માટે આંસુ છે હૂં તો હરખાઈ ગયી.. :) ખુશી ખુશી આંખો બંધ કરી થયું આ તે કયો પ્રસંગ આયો ?? કે બધા અચાનક જ એટલા સારા થઇ ગયા? પછી થયું મગજ પર બવ ભાર નથી દેવો જે થાળી માં આવ્યું એને ચુપ ચાપ પામી લો..

                            વિચારો વિચારો વિચારો જાને મારી આખી ઝીંદગી મારી સામે આવી ગયી આ એ જ લોકો હતા જેમને મને કોઈ વાર ધુત્કારી હતી તરછોડી હતી ને આજે એમના જ ચહેરે કેમ આટલો પ્રેમ ?? પછી વિચારો ને પાછળ મૂકી ને ઊંઘવાની મારી કોશિશ.. ને જોવું છું તો એક દરવાજો દેખાય છે કેટલા દિવસ થી આ સોનેરી દરવાજો મારા સપના માં આવે છે.. અધ ખુલો આ દરવાજો જાને મારી જ રાહ જુવે છે..

                          આ દરવાજા ને જોતી જ હતી ને મારી છાતી જાણે બેસી ગયી ને આ બધું દુખ, દર્દ, પ્રેમ, હાસ્ય, અભિમાન, મારું ઘર, દીકરા દીકરીઓ બધા ને જાણે મેં પાછળ છોડી દીધા હૂં ક્યાં જઈ રાઈ છું આ શું થઇ રહ્યું છે ? ત્યાં આગળ વાડી ને જોયું તો દરવાજો ખુલી ગયો પેલો ને બસ પ્રકાશ જ પ્રકાશ છે સામે મારા ચેહેરા પર હાસ્ય છે ને આ લોકો ને પાછળ વળી ને જોવું છું તો કોઈ મારા શરીર ને વળગી ને રડે છે ને ત્યારે મને ભાન થઇ કે આ તો હતો " મારા મૃત્યુ નો પ્રસંગ "

(C)  D!sha Joshi.